kids

adam urzua

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if you’ve been following me on instagram, then you’ve already heard the good news! my baby boy, adam urzua, was born on january 10 at 12:27am. since then, my life has revolved around this little dude and everything else has fallen by the wayside. i hate to get all cheesy, but he really has completely changed my life, and the happiness and excitement that i’ve felt since his arrival is really the greatest joy i have ever experienced. there are a lot of pregnancy cliches, but it really is true that when you first hold your baby, it’s love at first sight. and contrary to popular belief, bringing a newborn into your home for the first time is actually really fun! people kept warning me about all the sleep i’d lose, and how hard it would be. but none of that even enters into my mind. not when i’ve got this perfect baby boy in my arms. i should probably also point out that i’ve had a tremendous amount of help these past few weeks. my partner has been by my side almost every day, and my mom drove out from tucson to stay with us and help teach us the secrets of parenting a newborn. they’ve both been so helpful to me, especially while i go about the process of healing!

since i’m sure some of you are curious (at least i know i’m obsessed with hearing everyone’s birth stories), i thought i’d share a few details about adam’s entrance into the world. i didn’t have a “birth plan” per se, i had been warned against plotting out my ideal birth since there are so many unknown factors. so instead, i focused on trying to keep an open mind to whatever possibilities lay ahead. this, of course, was incredibly nerve wracking as i kept searching horror stories on google and scaring the hell out of myself. but i’ve also known so many women who have recently had really wonderful births. home births, water births, short labors, no drugs! so i just sorta hoped for the best and did my part to prepare for the birth as best as i could. i went to a masseuse, a chiropractor, and an acupuncturist. i took a planned childbirth class and practiced my breathing techniques during my frequent braxton hicks contractions and “false labor” scares. i drank tons of raspberry leaf tea and took evening primrose oil supplements and all of that holistic stuff.

then on january 9, around 9pm, i felt my first real, painful contraction. since our birthing class explained to us that the beginning of labor can last like 12 hours or more, i decided to ignore it since it wasn’t super painful and figured that i’d go to bed and wait until the pain kept me awake. then i’d have plenty of time to go about packing my hospital bag, showering, and getting ready for the big day. and finally, at 1:30am, i awoke to an incredibly painful contraction. like whoa, i had no idea contractions would be that painful kind of pain. i didn’t want to make the rookie mistake of getting all freaked out and heading to the hospital only to be sent back home for going in too early, so i tiptoed to the nursery and sat in the dark rocking myself in our new glider and breathing through the pain. i read that contractions tend to start about 20 minutes apart, so i figured i’d just chill out and see if i could get relaxed enough to go back to sleep. but the contractions seemed so intense and so frequent that i decided to start timing them, just out of curiosity. sure enough, they were coming every 3 – 5 minutes and lasting at least a minute each. i couldn’t walk or talk through the pain, and i was getting a little confused and nervous that it was all happening so fast. two hours later, i couldn’t take the pain. i woke up brendan and we talked in the short intervals between contractions for a few minutes before i completely panicked. the contractions were coming on top of one another and i started feeling all of this immense pressure. i sat on the edge of the bed while he frantically threw some of my stuff into the hospital bag and we ran to the car. my contractions were coming every 1 – 3 minutes apart on the ride there and i just kept doing my best to breathe. we arrived at the hospital and the triage nurses hooked me up to the monitor and started getting a little panicky when they saw that i was having some contractions as close at 30 seconds apart! someone came in to check my progress and low-and-behold, i was only 1cm dilated.

what the hell?! i was so frustrated and disappointed, and i was crying and getting a little panicky from the excruciating pain. i was trying to be polite, but i wasn’t getting any breaks between contractions and i needed help to just focus and breathe. no one told me that labor could start off this way! there was some confusion about what to do with me, they hooked me up to an i.v. hoping that some hydration would slow the contractions (it didn’t), and eventually decided to admit me because of the frequency and intensity of my contractions. as soon as i was admitted, i asked for the walking epidural. i knew the moment they told me my progress that there was no way i was going to make it without some relief. the contractions continued about 1 minute apart and everyone in the delivery room was hopeful and excited because i was continuing to smoothly progress at 1cm per hour. i was doing really well, even taking short walks, until one of my legs gave out beneath me. even though i was on the lowest dose of epidural, it was too strong for me and i was ordered to stay in the bed for the duration of my labor. but things were still moving along, so we continued to be hopeful.

then i hit 6cm. and the entire process came to a screeching halt. even though the contractions were still coming one minute apart, i failed to progress. hour after hour and still no progress. the timeline gets blurry here, but eventually my doctor convinced me that breaking my water might get baby boy to engage and move the labor forward. nope! then after a lot of conversation and much stalling on my part, they convinced me to try pitocin. it did not work. and finally after over 24 hours of labor, we were faced with the reality that no amount of changing positions or increases in pitocin were going to get that little guy to drop. i took the news like a champ, but the moment the doctor left the room, i was in tears. i was so terrified of a c-section. but my baby was in the posterior position and his little body was still hanging out way up high in my uterus with no signs of coming out. so around midnight, they wheeled me to the operating room and at 12:27am, adam was born via c-section. at the time, it was the most terrifying experience of my life. i was shaking so violently that i had to ask brendan to hold my arms down during the procedure. but the moment i laid eyes on my little boy, my entire body relaxed and everything was right in the world.

so there it was. many of my fears had become a reality. i desperately wanted to avoid being hooked up to a million machines and being bound to a hospital bed, and there i was, with every possible tube and drip and medication you could imagine. this after not even taking a single tylenol for the entire duration of my pregnancy. i was afraid of the baby being in the “wrong” position, of the baby being big (he was 9lbs 14oz and 22 1/2 inches long!!!), and i was terrified of a c-section. but, you know what? it all happened, and i survived. and now i have this strong, healthy, beautiful baby boy. it wasn’t the fairytale birth that i’d tried to visualize, but the outcome was even more wonderful than i could have imagined.

and here i am, a little over two weeks later, finally starting to feel human again and continuing to heal with my slumbering babe here beside me. he’s already grown so much in such a short amount of time, so i’m just doing my best to rest and repair, and i’m snapping pictures of his little face every chance i get so that i’ll have a document of this very special time.



53 comments

  2. Congratulations! He’s beautiful! I love that you shared that story – I am trying to go into my labor with that same mindset of knowing that there will be very little that I can control and I think it sounds like you were very brave. A c-section is also on my list of pretty big fears and do-not-wants, but I suppose its important to be reminded that any way you become a mama is wonderful.

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  4. Awwww erin, thank you so much for sharing!!! I so so relate to all of this, and you are so right about the outcome being so much better than you could imagine. I had the crazy shaking happen during surgery too, it’s pretty darn terrifying. Well way to go mama!!!!!!

    Also, I feel like no one really talks about how wild the recovery after a c section is. Your guys feel like they are going to explode when you finally get to move around! Oh and I had a crazy COUGH from my weird complications, ha

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    1. yes, reading your story was really helpful for me because it seems like we both went in with similar expectations and ended up in the same boat. and i’m so glad you got better after all the crazy complications! so scary, but yep, totally worth it! even with the crazy feeling like your stitches are about to rip apart! and even when holding your baby is really hard at first. we survived!!!

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  5. He is absolutely gorgeous! Congratulations. I had the exact same thing when I had my oldest, planned for a home birth with gas and air, ended up in hospital, bedbound with an epidural, ventouse, cast of thousands type affair. But it really doesn’t matter. You did good! Enjoy him. My last “baby” is 4 now and starts school in September, it all goes much too fast

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  8. Aw!!! So much congrats to you and your family. I have been a long time reader of your blog and when I saw you were expecting, I was really excited. I am pregnant with #4 right now, but my kids are 13, 8 and 6 so it’s been a while since I did the pregnancy, baby and labor thing. You are right–you never know what you can expect. My boys (my two oldest) had an easy labor—4 and 6 hours. My daughter (my youngest) was 24 hours and complicated. You never know! I’m glad you have a lot of help. Welcome to the world Adam!

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  10. Something very, very similar happened to me and I was also terrified of it and very emotional about having a c-section, but it ended up all right and my little girl came into the world healthy. Now she’s almost two and being a parent to her is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever done. I’m so happy for you and your family!

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  13. Oh my what a handsome baby and congrats once more! Glad that you have shared your birth story with us. I’m pregnant myself 23 weeks and hoping for a natural birth. Fingers crossed! Thanks again for sharing your story! Xoxo

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  14. aw what an incredible story erin!! You are amazing–so strong and courageous!! How lucky you are to have help from your mom right now too!! Can’t wait to meet little Adam!!

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  15. Awww Erin! I am so happy for you. You’re such a strong woman for enduring pain like that and coming through the other side with a beautiful baby boy!

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  16. Congratulations and thank you for sharing. It’s actually my due date today and I am sat reading this, feeling what I think are Braxton Hicks contractions and getting more and more scared!

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  18. He’s so beautiful. Congratulations! And wow, you are extremely lucky if really none of the hardships enter your mind. :)

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  19. Welcome to motherhood, better yet welcome to the mama tribe. Thanks for sharing your birth story. Enjoy every sweet moment with Adam. My daughter is 7 months and soo much fun but I miss those precious first days already. Love to all of you.

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  21. I love birth stories too! Thanks for sharing yours. My experience was a lot like yours. I too only had a couple seconds in between contractions with little dilation. I didn’t think it could happen like that! Adam is adorable. Congratulations!

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  23. I had a 9lb15oz boy. It’s tough getting them born, but nice afterwards because they skip the teeny-weeny stage and grow fast. He looks great. A safe birth for mother and child is all you can ask. You’ll be feeling better every day.

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    1. yes! i knew he was going to be big, but i was shocked when they announced his weight! (and a little embarrassed because people kept asking me if i had gestational diabetes or was eating too much cake… c’mon!) but now that i have him home, i’m really glad he is so big, strong, and healthy. you’re right, it’s nice not to have to worry about a lot of the really teeny tiny newborn stuff.

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  25. Greetings from Turkey! I’ve been following you for a very long time. happiness for you and your baby with your wife. I am two months pregnant and you wrote last summer gave me courage. I hope yours will be as sweet and healthy baby ..

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  26. FELICIDADES! Giiiirl, let’s not quibble about 2 ounces–that is a TEN POUND BABY you birthed there! You’re a rockstar!! He is beautiful and I’m beyond stoked for you and your man and your whole family. :)

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  27. Thank you for sharing this. With all this new emphasis on having the most natural birth possible, I don’t think anyone should feel scared or shamed if their baby needs a little extra fancy medical science to get born in the safest way possible for both mother and child. I’m glad you had an extra supportive partner and that you are both recovering and healthy! Many many congratulations to your whole family.

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  30. Congratulations! Our little man was born 10/4/13, and things went a little differently than we’d envisioned as well. Luckily, like you, our only birth plan was to have a healthy boy. We decided that whatever route got us to that point would be a positive one for us. Now I have a wiggly, big, 4 month old in 9 month clothing and size 3 diapers! I loved hearing your story and I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world!

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  31. aww congratulations on your beautiful newborn! I was almost moved to tears by your birth story, so well written and so emotional, I can only imagine how painful yet emotional it could be! But still, your baby boy in your arms is really love at first sight, I think it’s one of the best things in life. I wish you all the best!

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  34. You’re so generous to tell your story, Erin. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m sure you’ve helped a lot of people. Even if it’s just to remind us that life rarely goes according to plan. And that we can face our biggest fears and come through okay.

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  37. That’s a whole lotta baby! Congratulations, you just sound over the moon. And wow, sounds like a crazy labor. However we get through it, it’s worth it in the end. So happy for you, he is beautiful!

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  39. congratulations to you and your partner! I’m so glad to hear he was born healthy, even if it wasn’t in the way you would have liked. A friend of mine recently had her baby via c-section so it’s not thing i’m worried about myself now because it could happen to anyone!

    I hope he grows up to be a wonderful and generous man and that he has much happiness and gets to have many wonderful experiences!

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  40. Congratulations! He’s a beauty. So inspiring of you to share your story and prove that it’s ok if things don’t go the perfect way you plan. Sending love and light for your gorgeous little boy, xx

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  41. I love reading birth stories, because everyone and every child is a new and difference experience. Congratulations to you guys. Also, You don’t lose sleep until he starts teething at about 3 months really (because they are in pain as their teeth are growing in. I recommend teething drops for infants when that comes around). I think that is when it starts getting tougher, though it isn’t that bad if you are doing some co-sleeping in general. I think when people put their babies in another room right away, and the baby wants to just be close to someone or know their parents are nearby is why some parents might lose sleep, because sometimes babies wake up scared when they see they are alone and don’t “smell” the mom nearby.

    Your son was the same exact weight my first was at birth (no c-section though) though Mine was an inch smaller. It is so funny remembering how how he was double the size of the other newborns! Gotta love our nearly 10 pounders.

    Isn’t it the pits to live off of ice chips instead of drinking water? Ugh. You did great, Mom!!! :)

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    1. oh mannnn, i am dreading the teething stage! he’s super easy for now (we are co-sleeping, i can’t imagine putting him in another room!), but i can already see the little whites of his teeth under his gums. i felt bad when he got diaper rash, so i can only imagine how hard it’ll be when he’s crying inconsolably over his new teeth!

      and yes, i couldn’t believe how tiny the other babies were in the hospital! but i’m happy with my big boy because he’s super strong. and i don’t know if i’m right about this, but it seems like bigger babies are less fussy? maybe?

      also how was a natural birth for such a big guy? in some ways i feel like i got cheated out of the experience, but it’s also kinda scary trying to imagine pushing him out. but i still hope i’ll have a shot at a natural birth next time…

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      1. I don’t know if bigger babies are less fussy or not really. . .I had a harder time with my firstborn (the 9lbs 14 oz one) than I did with my second (who was 7 lbs 10 oz, so much smaller). I think they are all different no matter the size.

        Natural birth with a big baby wasn’t too bad actually. I have large hips and they thought I had an 8 lb baby only, so they didn’t think or mention c-section or think anything was wrong (his head was in position). I didn’t dilate very well at all until the last hour (22 hours of labor). The tear was terrible though. I had to get an episiotomy (sp) that went really far down (to my bum)….and so therefore healing took me up to a month and I had to sit on a special pillow because I had such terrible pain. The actual birthing wasn’t bad and I was cracking jokes while pushing him out. I felt fine until I was done being stitched and had to sit and walk around. That was worse than the labor. I thought it was crazy when a woman I know had her baby 10 weeks later and had no problem getting up and down and sitting and walking when I visited her at the hospital. Thankfully the second time around I was able to walk and sit without any problem at all.

        You did NOT get cheated from the experience. You gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and THAT is a great experience!! I think usually our birthing plan and ideas of it never go as we expect or hope it will be.

        Just to let you know, if Adam ever breaks out in eczema or a rash, I know it may seem costly, but it works wonders for MANY moms. the Soothe #2 and #3 are so great for kids by Rodan + Fields. If you want to see before and after shots of children, let me know. I’m a consultant for them now at vtied.myrandf.com if you want to check out the products. ;)

        Hope you continue to have a wonderful time as a mother! You did great!
        +Victoria+

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  42. Hi Erin,

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. It is really informative and helpful for someone like me who hasn’t had a baby yet. Adam is beautiful!

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  45. I have so much admiration for your attitude, and getting through such an ordeal. You did good! That’s a hell of a story but the ending is wonderful – and it’s just the beginning! Congratulations and well done; I can’t wait to see more pictures and hear more of your baby adventures. Oh, and “big” babies are the best! One of the few pieces of advice my friend who had a “big” little girl in 2012 gave me was to try to have a bigger baby (at 35 weeks we’re not far off 7lbs, so I’m feeling confident!). Best of luck, and lots of love xoxo

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  46. Congratulations on your baby boy Erin! I´m also a mama to a 12 months old baby girl and i love sharing this “birth stories”. I know this is only natural, but it feels like the most special thing that ever happened to us. I love being a woman for this reason, honestly, nevermind the pain.
    Can´t wait to have a look at all the cute baby outfits you´ll be showing us. All the best for you and baby!

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  48. Pingback: happy birthday, adam! - calivintage

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